Growing up · 2026-11-10

The Butterflies in the Tummy

Long before a child can say "I feel anxious", their body already knows. Helping children read their physical signals is the first step to emotional regulation.

In the Swiss Alps, before heavy snow or a summer storm arrives, nature always provides small, subtle signals. Marmots let out sharp, warning whistles, and herds of cows instinctively gather in sheltered spots. If you observe closely, you can read these cues long before the storm actually hits.

A young child's emotional landscape works in exactly the same way. Long before they can clearly articulate, "I feel anxious" or "I am angry," their bodies already know what is happening.

The Body's Hidden "Eighth Sense"

When we think of senses, we usually list sight, hearing, and the other classic five. But developmental science highlights another crucial one: interoception. Sometimes called the "eighth sense," interoception is our ability to perceive what is happening inside our bodies, such as a racing heart, tense muscles, or a fluttering stomach.

For children aged three to eight, abstract emotional labels like "anxious" or "frustrated" can be incredibly difficult to grasp. What they feel first are physical sensations. When they feel overwhelmed about going to kindergarten, they might complain of a "tummy ache." When a playmate snatches their toy, their tiny hands naturally curl into tight fists. Research from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child shows that early emotional regulation is built on exactly this foundation—perceiving and responding to the body's stress signals.¹

Translating Body Language into Emotions

When a child is caught in an emotional whirlwind, asking directly, "How are you feeling?" often results in a tearful "I don't know!" However, if we shift the focus to their body, we can often open a new door to understanding.

For example, as you stand on the platform waiting for the iconic little red mountain railway to arrive, your child might seem restless and fussy. Instead of asking if they are nervous, you might gently say, "Does your heart feel like a little rabbit hopping really fast right now?" Connecting abstract feelings to concrete bodily sensations helps children slowly build their own emotional vocabulary.

Sparkie uses a similar kind of gentle curiosity when chatting with children. If a child mentions feeling strange or unsettled, Sparkie might ask, "Does your tummy feel heavy like a little stone, or is it more like little butterflies fluttering around? Sometimes our body whispers secrets about how we feel!"

From Noticing to Calming

Once children learn to read their body's signals, they gain a built-in buffer for regulating their emotions. When a child realises, "My cheeks are getting hot and my hands are squeezed tight," they have a brief window to pause, take a breath, or ask a grown-up for help before a full temper tantrum erupts.

The next time your child seems on the verge of an emotional storm, try slowing down together to listen to the tiny signals their body is sending.

Things to Try at Home This Week

• A bedtime body scan: While lying in bed, gently guide your child to check in with their body, starting from their toes up to their head. "Are our toes feeling tired today? Do our shoulders feel soft and floppy, or a bit tight?"
• Draw where the feelings hide: Draw a simple outline of a body on a large piece of paper. Ask your child, "When we feel really happy, where does that feeling live in our body?" (Perhaps in the chest). "What about when we are angry?" (Perhaps in tight fists or a hot face).
• Share your own body signals: Model this awareness naturally during your day. You might say, "Whoa, that loud noise made my heart beat so fast!" This shows your child that everyone experiences these fascinating physical reactions.