Digital & AI literacy · 2026-10-20

Can Grandma Smell This Flower?

Young children connect best on video calls not by sitting and talking, but through shared experiences, showing objects, and moving around.

The screen lights up, and a grandparent's smiling face appears from miles away. Instead of sitting quietly to say a polite hello, a three-year-old might excitedly shove a newly found autumn leaf or a small wildflower right against the camera lens, wondering aloud, "Can Grandma smell it?"

For young children, the boundary between the digital screen and the physical world is beautifully blurred. Understanding how they perceive this digital window is the first step in helping them build meaningful, long-distance relationships.

A Window, Not a Wall

When the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) developed its screen-time guidelines, it made a notable exception for video chatting. Unlike passively watching cartoons, video calls offer reciprocal, two-way interaction that can foster social connection and support language development ¹.

However, despite video chatting being a positive digital experience, adults often feel frustrated. Children rarely seem to focus, often wandering off after a few seconds or simply making silly faces at the camera. This happens because "sitting down for a catch-up conversation" is a highly developed adult social skill. Preschoolers are still developing their verbal abilities, and their primary way of understanding the world and expressing affection is physical—through movement, touch, and play.

From Face-to-Face to Side-by-Side

Adults generally prefer communicating face-to-face, but children connect best side-by-side. When a child presses a favorite toy against the lens or drags the device onto the rug, they are actually extending an invitation. They are asking the faraway relative to step into their physical world.

Imagine a family living in a picturesque Swiss village, video-calling relatives abroad. Rather than sitting stiffly on the living room sofa, they might carry the tablet out onto the wooden balcony to show off the snow-capped Alps in the distance or the freshly watered red geraniums. Or they might prop the phone on the kitchen table so both sides can share Znüni—the traditional Swiss mid-morning snack of sliced apples and bread. When the screen becomes a participant in daily life rather than just a telephone, children feel much more natural and relaxed.

Connecting on Their Own Terms

If a child wanders away during a call, try not to interpret it as rudeness. They might simply be fetching something important they want to show Grandpa, or they might just need a physical break to process the interaction. Sometimes, instead of forcing a structured chat, we can lean into their natural curiosity. For instance, when a child is puzzled by how video calls work, their AI learning companion Sparkie might gently prompt them to wonder: how does a voice travel across oceans and mountains to fit inside this little screen?

By lowering our expectations for the "perfect" conversation and allowing for a bit of wandering and silence, we let video calls become a genuine part of a child's routine. Love and companionship can easily cross the digital divide when we let them flow naturally.

Things to try this week

Create a "Show and Tell" box: Keep a small box handy during the week where your child can drop interesting things they find (a smooth stone, a new drawing). During the next video call, this box becomes a treasure chest of conversation starters.
Share a snack across the screen: Schedule a call during snack time. Even if you are eating different things, the simple, shared rhythm of chewing and drinking together provides a deep sense of security and togetherness for a child.
Prop and play: Use a sturdy stand to prop up the device so the camera points at your child's play area, like their block-building mat. The faraway grandparent doesn't need to keep a constant conversation going; simply watching and occasionally saying, "You built that so high," is a wonderful form of presence.